Thank you Steve Jobs

You have changed our lives and those of our children in ways we have only begun to understand. 

Steve Jobs passed away the same day my son turned nine.  My kids can barely recall their life before the iPhone, iPad and downloadable apps.  The world Steve envisioned and created through Apple is so deeply woven into our lives.  So much that it provided the inspiration for this blog.

Our indoctrination into the i-generation occurred when we moved to Palo Alto, which lays claim as a sort of ground-zero for the creation of Apple. Many ideas came out of Xerox Palo Alto Research Center (PARC).  Steve was a local figure in town.  He grew up in nearby Mountain View. His kids went to our schools and his Halloween decorations are legendary, so his life and passing is being widely discussed in our paper.

Of course this is not just a Silicon Valley thing.  The homes of my friends elsewhere are filled with daily banter about earning "screen time" and the quality of latest apps so-and-so's dad downloaded.  
 
When we told the kids that Steve Jobs had died, my neighbor compared him to Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo.  That seems valid enough for the high tech population, but we will not know for years just how far reaching his global impact will be.  Apple products remain out of reach for much of the world's population.

My first computer experiences were on an Apple 2e in the university computer lab (yes, I am that old!).  Yet until five years ago, we were an all Microsoft house.  I worked there for a decade and even met my husband at Microsoft in Redmond, WA.

Christmas 2006 brought an iPod and Sounddock into our home.  Out went the 15-year old stereo and CD player.  When I left work and my company-issued laptop, in came the MacBook I'm using right now.  Enter the iPhone.  The iPad.  Now the kids' lives were enriched, too. 

When our Dell PC died last January, we barely noticed, so enchanted we were by the iPad.  Our music comes from Pandora or iTunes via iPhones and iPods.  The kids use MacBooks in the classroom.  Their teachers have iPads.  I have incredible respect for Bill Gates and many people who have worked at Microsoft over the years, but there is no denying the impact of Steve Jobs - or that we are fully drenched in the iKool-Aid of Silicon Valley.

Living here means your neighbors are typically into computers - as hobby and profession.  Ironically, the day of Jobs' passing was also the day our house was transformed into an all Apple household through the delivery of a used PowerMac G5 that will become our "family PC."

So the PC on our desktop now is a Mac.

My kids will use it for school and for fun.  The world envisioned by Steve is the world they will know.  It is the world in which they will grow.  It's an engaging, entertaining, educational and amazing world.  I'll forever cherish the joy on my 88-year old grandmother's face the first time she could see and speak with my kids - 3000 miles away - courtesy of Skype and the iPad2.  It was easy to set up and easy to do and it enriched our lives greatly.

I may often get frustrated with their screen-time obsession and chase my kids outside to play, but I truly do believe this world, this i-generation world, is a wonderful world to live in.

Thank you sincerely, Steve, for creating it.

Form Good Habits Now: Brush, Floss, Put Down the iPhone

 

If you want more support in favor of managing screen time while your children are young, check out a new study that finds more mental and physical health issues in teens who are frequent users of Facebook and other on-line media, including gaming and the Internet.

The results of the study, titled, “Poke Me: How Social Networks Can Both Help and Harm Our Kids,” was unveiled last weekend by Dr. Larry D. Rosen, a professor of psychology at California State University, Dominguez Hills.  I found it in the predictably titled article: "Kids Who Use Facebook Do Worse in School."  Rosen's study highlights how we are just beginning to understand the psychological implications of ubiquitous use of social media among young people.

A worrisome paragraph in the article is:

"Teenagers and young adults who are persistently logged on to Facebook are more often to show psychological disorders, like mania, paranoia, aggressive tendencies , antisocial behavior and increased alcohol use. These teens also more often displayed narcissistic tendencies, which are fed by their ability to constantly broadcast information about themselves through Facebook."

While not too surprising to anyone who has been pondering the long-term social effects of this new on-line world in which we live, it is sobering.  And sad.  

His study observed that most kids - in this case middle school age up to college students - when asked to study a subject in which they are truly interested for just fifteen minutes were off-task within three minutes.  Despite knowing they were being observed, these kids could not resist letting their minds and hands wander to check for texts or Facebook posts.  Of course the research points out that kids who can resist the urge to multi-task do better in school.

I've been concerned for awhile about the addictive nature of iPad/iPhone apps on attention span and ability to focus in my kids - i-generation kids.  So concerned that I started this blog!  Even at ages six and eight, their perceived "need" to get to the next Ninjago level or check on their Smurfville crops increases exponentially with every occurrence of screen time - even less than 30 minutes a day.  How are they going to resist the urge later, when they are not limited by mom or dad?

For older kids, Rosen mentions the tactic of "tech breaks" as a solution: telling kids they can have one minute to check their media after fifteen minutes of uninterrupted study.  Apparently, the multi-tasking issue is pervasive enough among young people that Rosen is advocating for the use of "tech breaks" in schools.

For the younger ones, he talks about the importance of building good screen time habits now.  As the parent of children over which we still have some influence, my husband and I are taking this research to heart.  We are talking to our kids about their habits, distinguishing between real and virtual worlds, and re-doubling our efforts to engage them in off-line activities like playing games and making up stories.  While we still can.

We already know that the part of the human brain responsible for impulse control continues developing until well into the late teens and early 20s - especially for boys.  What remains unknown is the effect habitual usage of i-generation apps will have on brain development and higher brain functions, such as impulse control, especially when it begins in toddlerhood.  Who among us has not pacified our kids with an iPhone recently?  My i-generation kids will develop better patience, impulse control and persistence skills if I make sure they ample opportunities to flex them.

Dr. Rosen has been studying the effects of technology on people for more than 25 years.  In a telling quote at the end of his remarks he notes that his own children, ages 21 and 24 are constantly using technology and says: “I'm so happy I was able to raise them in an era when the worst thing was a bad video game.”

Going out on an alarmist limb here.....will unchecked on-line use be the i-generation's drug problem?  Will a future First Lady start a "Just Say No to Apps" campaign?

Clearly there is a wealth of richness and benefit we enjoy from the Internet and all this wonderful mobile technology.  I love my iPhone!  Our iPad has completely displaced our PC (sorry Microsoft)!

That said, from this day forward, our house is putting screen time management high on the list of good habits, right up there with brushing and flossing and cleaning up after yourself.  The time to form good self-care habits is now.  If you believe in the results of this study, managing screen time has become another form of self care.  A habit we can, and should, help our children form now, while we still have some degree of control over them.

Into the Wild

Last weekend we were fortunate to be invited on a multi-family camping trip in the California Redwoods.  My husband and I have done some camping - he more than I - but we hadn't yet done a full family campout, kids and all.  Cold water? Late night trips to the pit toilet? No electricity?  No problem. I was raised in Oregon after all. I like tall trees. I've slept on damp ground. I'm hardy.

Hardy or not, camping with kids is a ton of work!  They want cocoa with marshmallows. They want s’mores. They need changes of clothes and a good night’s sleep. The bulk of the pre-trip week was devoted to making and reviewing checklists and tossing various kitchen items, tools, and foodstuffs into a large tub. Trips to REI, Costco and OSH. Planning. Purchasing. Packing. Overpacking. My husband was in London all week and not set to return until Friday, after our planned departure time. Due to his being in charge of most loading and hauling, he is normally the voice of reason in the packing department. Well that voice was too far away for me to hear.  The car was stuffed.

On Friday afternoon, an hour before John was due to land back in the States, the kids and I were off.  Knowing their father would be tired from the flight, and wanting to flex my campworthiness, I crowned my boys temporary "man-of-the-house" and "second-in-command" thinking I could secure their help in setting up camp before dark. Ours were walk-in campsites which have the benefit of being away from cars and their non-woodsy noises, yet require you to haul e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g to the site.  Hardy.  From Oregon.

When we arrived, the kids carried down a sleeping bag or two, and then scampered off to join the ten other kids - ages 5 to 11 - in hollering and running all over the woods. In no time, they had built a fort with sticks and pine boughs in the base of a giant redwood tree. My younger son convinced me it was a former bear cave.

As the parents continued to haul gear and pitch tents, the kids broke into teams, started using pretend code names. Then they established jobs such as guarding the cave, procuring building materials, and gathering pine cones. When someone went over to the dark side and tried to invade the cave, it led to a "Lord of the Flies" situation where the "prisoner" was hauled into and detained in a hollowed out redwood tree trunk. When I passed by the scene, on load five or six from the car, they were guarding him with long sticks and wild eyes. He was in on the game, at least for the initial stages.

Day two brought a hike on which the kids forded streams on fallen logs and ran ahead of the parents only to ambush us with a ululating war cry reminiscent of Planet of the Apes. We all learned how to spot poison oak and stinging nettles, some a bit too late unfortunately. By afternoon, the arsenal of pine cones had become a currency with values assigned according to their uniqueness and quality. Cones were used to purchase various sizes of whittled sticks in a makeshift "store." Stick whittlers were on different pay scales and people took timed "breaks." Such inventiveness. And not an iPad in sight!

Sounds idyllic, doesn't it? Ten kids - eight boys and two girls - spending two days running freely, breathing fresh air, collecting pine cones, whittling sticks, creating a mini-civilization, comparing banana slugs, eating S'mores, and chucking various things into the fire-pit when parents weren't looking. They enjoyed each others company and flexed their imaginations while stoking campfire flames and telling each other about their latest dreams. No one asked for screen time.

Now that we are back - and still unpacking - I look forward to more camping trips and hope they result in just as much free-form fun and as many lasting memories. Not just for me, but for my kids. I also sincerely hope my kids - and their friends - have internalized how much more thrilling camping is than even the heartiest round of Angry Birds. They better. Hardy or not, camping with kids is a lot of work.

**This post first appeared over at Silicon Valley Mamas on June 3rd.  Come check 'em out.

Opting Out of the End-of-School-Year Scramble

Do you ever consider it?  Just packing up early and heading out of town simply to avoid the last two weeks of school end-of-year parties, end-of-season parties, recitals, movie nights, award ceremonies, field days, and all manner of other excuses for another juice-box and pizza-filled celebration?  By this point in the year, it's not like there is much learning going on.  So why not just head to the hills - or Yosemite - before the summer crowds arrive?

Lisa Belkin - who always seems to be reading my mind ;-) - recently addressed this in her Motherlode column in the New York Times.  I had been griping about the end of year craziness all last week to anyone who would listen, and then I saw it in print, in her May 31st column called The End-of-School-Year Scramble.  I enjoy reading her brief pieces, yet I often find much more entertainment and enlightenment in the comments section where all sorts of opinionated, and often quite witty, people from across the nation and world chime in with their own personal perspective.

On this topic, I'd put the bulk of commenters into a few categories:

The Harried Helpless: those who are genuinely overwhelmed by it all, yet somehow feel powerless to make a change or stop the madness for fear of upsetting their children (or their friends) in some way.  Many of these commenters seem to come from Northern Virginia and the Midwest.  Hmmm.

The Bitter Breadwinners:  More than a few people pointed a finger toward their nemesis, the bored "SAHM" contingent who some of these commenters suggest sit around all day dredging up parties and events to fill the ample time "they" all seem to have on their hands. **

The Artful Avoiders: Those who manage to cherry pick a few of what they deem the most meaningful events and avoid the rest.

So where does your family fall?  Or are you - you unique person you - not so easily categorized?  I'd like to think we are Artful Avoiders, but since I don't work for a salary anymore and we are still establishing roots and friendships in this area, I fear we are often one of the Harried Helpless; that is, part of the problem itself.

To that end, I am trying to do my small part to curtail waste generated by many of these events in which we participate.  In addition to voting "no" to trophies, goody bags, and other trinkets, I've increasingly become a bit of a commenter (not quite a crusader) against all the juiceboxes, juice-pouches and snack wrappers generated by these events.

While I know my comments are not always welcome, and I am sure there are plenty of other more important causes to take on than juiceboxes, there does seem to be a growing awareness in our community about "going green" at more of these events.  Not quite as much as the evergreen Seattle community we left, but it is here, too.  Tonight, my son is attending a potluck where families have been asked to bring their own dishes and utensils.  I applaud this group for that, even if that is exactly what one should expect from the Cub Scouts.

The other conversation I'm starting to hear is that of opting out of the less meaningful parts of this end-of-year bonanza.  Of the trophy.  Of the goody bag.  Of the entire party in some cases.  The family calendar is saturated and wise parents are realizing that all meaning is lost on a child once they reach their seventh pizza party of the month.  When your child says "Can we just stay home tonight?"  That is the time to opt-out of the scramble.  Your family, and the environment, are likely to be all better off when you do.


**  I was a full-time working mom for 4.5 long years and am sympathetic to the pros and cons of both "sides".  That said, it is fun to try out a little dramatic prose for the sake of entertainment.

Becoming a Tweeter

So much for minimizing technology!  All (five of) you other Tweeters out there can now follow me at: @igenkids

Why?  Well, one of my posts is soon to be featured, alongside some very talented writers, bloggers.....and tweeters, on a site called Silicon Valley Mamas.  If all goes well, we'll link to each other, they'll take future posts, and we can all grow together organically.  I'm looking forward to learning from these social media savvy moms and from this experience and, well, all those talented women tweet, so I figured....  My justification, because there always has to be one, is that it sounds like fun and yet another way to stay on top of this stuff and keep a half a toe in the world of paid work.

I'm equally excited and confused about this deepening of my relationship with the on-line world I fled a mere four years ago.  When I reflect on the fact that my three-month old blog hobby began, in the wee hours of a February night, out of sheer desperation to keep my kids partially free from the total technological immersion of Silicon Valley, becoming a Tweeter, seems like such a sell-out.

Will have to explore that later, I have a slippery slope to catch....

How the i-Generation Shares its "Cooties"

Head lice.  Do I have your attention now or did those two words make you click and run away? 

It's the fear and potential embarrassment of parents of school-age kids everywhere.  Spend some time chatting with a group of parents and you'll find that many have quietly dealt with them at one point or another. Regardless, just about everyone gets the heebie geebies at the thought of having to face the little critters in their home and on their child's head. Check out people's body language the next time someone brings up this engaging topic at a social gathering. Eeeeww. Not even the most detail-oriented person wants to literally be a "nitpicker". 

When we moved to the Bay Area we discovered that Lice Check Coordinator is an actual PTA role - and a difficult one to fill! Upon learning that our school conducts three official Lice Checks of every child throughout the school year, I realized I should probably educate myself and my family on how to avoid the little buggers.  Note: While I am certain kids in Washington state also encounter head lice as often as those in California, the small Seattle schools my kids attended did not have formal checking programs.

Quickly the kids and I started to educate ourselves about lice. They were as grossed out as I was. We read up on what they look like and how they travel - by walking. We learned what the nits look like and how to differentiate them from simple dandruff or cradle cap. In addition to experiencing the phobia-inducing checks by volunteer parents sporting fine tooth combs and surgical gloves, my kids learned they should neither share nor swap hats. A bigger challenge during t-ball season. On the home front, when I'm on top of my game domestically, I toss all coats - especially hoodies - into the dryer for 20-30 minutes on Fridays.  Whenever a lice notice is sent home from school, I launder the coats and perform little spot checks on the kids for a few nights while they brush their teeth.

Soon after taking these prophylactic measures, I was feeling well protected against the hassle of head lice.  "Can't Touch This!" Not my kids or our house, I thought. Life was good in lice-free land....until the day I spotted my Kindergartner and two friends, huddled together over an iPhone. Heads touching. Ack! Did they forget that lice can "walk" from one head to another?

Nothing resulted from the iphone huddle, yet I felt compelled to make sure my kids understood these new "risks".  While avoiding t-ball hat trading is easy, the pledge to keep heads from touching goes out the window as soon as kids are connecting over Cut the Rope or Angry Birds. Let's face it. They're gonna touch. It's another new fact of life with this i-generation.

While I thank my lucky stars for not yet having to battle the little critters, I know that our time may come.  Whether courtesy of a Nintendo DS, a Leapster, an iPad or something else, my kids' heads will touch other kids' heads. I just hope the heads they touch don't have lice.

Not sure what sort of comments are in order after this little piece, but, as with any entry, please feel free to share your thoughts!

Have a great weekend,
Rebecca

P.S.  You can thank me later for not including a photo with this post. ;-)

How Do You Counter the Summer Slide?

 

Inquiring minds want to know.  Really, we do!

I'd never even heard of the "Summer Slide" until a guy promoting summer camps spoke last night at our school's PTA meeting.  I missed the first few minutes, but I gathered the "problem" he was there to solve was an academic concern shared by schools and parents.  His one-hour response to that apparently urgent question could easily have been wrapped with a five-minute plea to send our kids to his camp and only his camp.  Instead, he lumbered through two dozen Powerpoint slides that did not even try to mask his message that the "hybrid" camps he represents are far more enriching and well rounded than all those other camps we were considering.  Surprise!

Going in, I knew how the "Summer Slide" presentation would play out; yet as PTA Secretary, I needed to attend the meeting. THAT is a another blog post for another time.

The one interesting part of the presentation was a discussion he fostered between the dozen or so parents in attendance.  We were asked to share our summer goals for our children in the areas of:  Academic, Physical, Social, Life Skills and Hobbies.

While many shared a concern about kids losing their ability to write or recall their multiplication facts,  the majority of parents expressed a desire for their kids to learn new skills or just to enjoy their families and their free time.  Swimming and playing were high on the list, as was visiting extended family in other parts of the country or world.  One mom with older kids plans to teach them how to cook.  Now there's a good life skill!  Inspired by that mom, I decided I will teach my older one to build a fire at the beach; the old fashioned way, with matches and tinder and kindling.  You know, in case he's ever stranded on a remote island somewhere.  Life Skill - check!

When they are not training for Survivor, my kids will attend a variety of summer camps and spend plenty of time in the pool.  This is not driven by summer slide prevention, but by the fact that I'm neither a martyr nor Julie Andrews.  They truly want to attend Mini-Hawks, Lego camp, a music/theater camp, and even an outdoor woodsy camp with a sleepover and macrame crafts.

Even with several weeks of camp, a ten-week summer still seems like a wealth of time.  You know how you always optimistically bring too many books for a cross-country flight or vacation?  I do.  In the same vein, right now in early May, summer seems like such a great opportunity to pick up new skills and experiences that we are unable to do the rest of the year when pesky school schedules and PTA meetings get in the way.

So here is the part of my blog when I ask for your input.  We're trying to create a little community here ;-)  You can comment anonymously, but please share:  Forget this summer slide nonsense, what fun things are your kids doing this summer?