Becoming a Tweeter

So much for minimizing technology!  All (five of) you other Tweeters out there can now follow me at: @igenkids

Why?  Well, one of my posts is soon to be featured, alongside some very talented writers, bloggers.....and tweeters, on a site called Silicon Valley Mamas.  If all goes well, we'll link to each other, they'll take future posts, and we can all grow together organically.  I'm looking forward to learning from these social media savvy moms and from this experience and, well, all those talented women tweet, so I figured....  My justification, because there always has to be one, is that it sounds like fun and yet another way to stay on top of this stuff and keep a half a toe in the world of paid work.

I'm equally excited and confused about this deepening of my relationship with the on-line world I fled a mere four years ago.  When I reflect on the fact that my three-month old blog hobby began, in the wee hours of a February night, out of sheer desperation to keep my kids partially free from the total technological immersion of Silicon Valley, becoming a Tweeter, seems like such a sell-out.

Will have to explore that later, I have a slippery slope to catch....

How the i-Generation Shares its "Cooties"

Head lice.  Do I have your attention now or did those two words make you click and run away? 

It's the fear and potential embarrassment of parents of school-age kids everywhere.  Spend some time chatting with a group of parents and you'll find that many have quietly dealt with them at one point or another. Regardless, just about everyone gets the heebie geebies at the thought of having to face the little critters in their home and on their child's head. Check out people's body language the next time someone brings up this engaging topic at a social gathering. Eeeeww. Not even the most detail-oriented person wants to literally be a "nitpicker". 

When we moved to the Bay Area we discovered that Lice Check Coordinator is an actual PTA role - and a difficult one to fill! Upon learning that our school conducts three official Lice Checks of every child throughout the school year, I realized I should probably educate myself and my family on how to avoid the little buggers.  Note: While I am certain kids in Washington state also encounter head lice as often as those in California, the small Seattle schools my kids attended did not have formal checking programs.

Quickly the kids and I started to educate ourselves about lice. They were as grossed out as I was. We read up on what they look like and how they travel - by walking. We learned what the nits look like and how to differentiate them from simple dandruff or cradle cap. In addition to experiencing the phobia-inducing checks by volunteer parents sporting fine tooth combs and surgical gloves, my kids learned they should neither share nor swap hats. A bigger challenge during t-ball season. On the home front, when I'm on top of my game domestically, I toss all coats - especially hoodies - into the dryer for 20-30 minutes on Fridays.  Whenever a lice notice is sent home from school, I launder the coats and perform little spot checks on the kids for a few nights while they brush their teeth.

Soon after taking these prophylactic measures, I was feeling well protected against the hassle of head lice.  "Can't Touch This!" Not my kids or our house, I thought. Life was good in lice-free land....until the day I spotted my Kindergartner and two friends, huddled together over an iPhone. Heads touching. Ack! Did they forget that lice can "walk" from one head to another?

Nothing resulted from the iphone huddle, yet I felt compelled to make sure my kids understood these new "risks".  While avoiding t-ball hat trading is easy, the pledge to keep heads from touching goes out the window as soon as kids are connecting over Cut the Rope or Angry Birds. Let's face it. They're gonna touch. It's another new fact of life with this i-generation.

While I thank my lucky stars for not yet having to battle the little critters, I know that our time may come.  Whether courtesy of a Nintendo DS, a Leapster, an iPad or something else, my kids' heads will touch other kids' heads. I just hope the heads they touch don't have lice.

Not sure what sort of comments are in order after this little piece, but, as with any entry, please feel free to share your thoughts!

Have a great weekend,
Rebecca

P.S.  You can thank me later for not including a photo with this post. ;-)

How Do You Counter the Summer Slide?

 

Inquiring minds want to know.  Really, we do!

I'd never even heard of the "Summer Slide" until a guy promoting summer camps spoke last night at our school's PTA meeting.  I missed the first few minutes, but I gathered the "problem" he was there to solve was an academic concern shared by schools and parents.  His one-hour response to that apparently urgent question could easily have been wrapped with a five-minute plea to send our kids to his camp and only his camp.  Instead, he lumbered through two dozen Powerpoint slides that did not even try to mask his message that the "hybrid" camps he represents are far more enriching and well rounded than all those other camps we were considering.  Surprise!

Going in, I knew how the "Summer Slide" presentation would play out; yet as PTA Secretary, I needed to attend the meeting. THAT is a another blog post for another time.

The one interesting part of the presentation was a discussion he fostered between the dozen or so parents in attendance.  We were asked to share our summer goals for our children in the areas of:  Academic, Physical, Social, Life Skills and Hobbies.

While many shared a concern about kids losing their ability to write or recall their multiplication facts,  the majority of parents expressed a desire for their kids to learn new skills or just to enjoy their families and their free time.  Swimming and playing were high on the list, as was visiting extended family in other parts of the country or world.  One mom with older kids plans to teach them how to cook.  Now there's a good life skill!  Inspired by that mom, I decided I will teach my older one to build a fire at the beach; the old fashioned way, with matches and tinder and kindling.  You know, in case he's ever stranded on a remote island somewhere.  Life Skill - check!

When they are not training for Survivor, my kids will attend a variety of summer camps and spend plenty of time in the pool.  This is not driven by summer slide prevention, but by the fact that I'm neither a martyr nor Julie Andrews.  They truly want to attend Mini-Hawks, Lego camp, a music/theater camp, and even an outdoor woodsy camp with a sleepover and macrame crafts.

Even with several weeks of camp, a ten-week summer still seems like a wealth of time.  You know how you always optimistically bring too many books for a cross-country flight or vacation?  I do.  In the same vein, right now in early May, summer seems like such a great opportunity to pick up new skills and experiences that we are unable to do the rest of the year when pesky school schedules and PTA meetings get in the way.

So here is the part of my blog when I ask for your input.  We're trying to create a little community here ;-)  You can comment anonymously, but please share:  Forget this summer slide nonsense, what fun things are your kids doing this summer?

Start Spreading the News….

Our family has just returned from Spring Break in New York. After a brief, but nice visit with my mom and my 88-year old grandmother on the far end of Long Island, we dropped off the rental car and headed into New York City.  Cue the Sinatra! 

What followed was a well-packed week of museums, skyscrapers, funky neighborhoods, the requisite “bagel with a schmear” and plenty of good old New York fun. Part of the time, it was just our family of four meandering around the city that never sleeps. For about three days, we were joined by as many as twelve extended family members, touring and traipsing together around the Big Apple.

It was great fun. Seriously! That said, seeing the sights via sidewalk and subway with sixteen people – including eight kids ages 3 to 13 - requires communication, coordination and flexibility, as well as a fair dose of patience.

Our phones were a vital resource. In addition to relying heavily on texting to stay in touch when our group split for naps or to explore separately, we leaned on a few key iPhone apps for reliable, on-the-go access to subway and street maps, restaurant recommendations, and details on avoiding lines at the major attractions.

I cannot express how much easier and spontaneous traveling can be when you have some trusty iPhone apps in hand. Below are some of my favorite – and FREE – NYC-related travel apps from this trip:

Google Maps: A favorite standby for getting from point A to B, no matter where you travel.

NYC Way: Whether you are a local or a tourist, the NYC Way app is a winner! Three pages of icons loaded with information such as: restrooms, Street Eats, Coffee, Wi-Fi, Cross St Finder, Grocery, Banks, Kid-Friendly (a favorite). There is even an icon for the lighting schedule of the Empire State Building. Location-specific items give an address and distance from your current location. Click on a location for contact information, to call directly, or get directions from your current spot.

Ten of the 16 on the NYC subway platform.

Subway Map Apps: We used these constantly. There is not much of a wireless signal underground so the apps use a static map. You still need a general understanding of the subway system, but having a tiny version in your hand provides a discrete way to verify your route when you find yourself on a crowded train far from an official map or unable to hear the conductor; important when you are riding an express train downtown. I used the NY Transport Map by OnDemand World the most. They provide maps for major metropolitan cities worldwide. Another good one is NYC Subway KICKMap by Kick Delight, LLC, which handily separates out local and express into different lines on the map. Although the subway is far safer than when I lived in New York in the late 80s, it is still nice to be able to privately consult your phone.  I recall ending up in Brooklyn or Queens by mistake in 1989 and did not want to do that to our party of 16. (no offense to Brooklyn or Queens!)  The Kick Map also has a night-time feature which shows you which stations and stops close after 11pm.  Not a needed feature for our particular group.

MidTown in my Pocket by AppFury, LLC: This handy map labels the stores and restaurants building-by-building and block-by-block throughout midtown Manhattan.

The Best of New York by Baffled Travel: This is a cute app - found on another blog called NYCity Mama - that sorts out top things to see and do in New York. Examples are: Top Views, Tops for Kids, Free or Nearly Free, etc. You can sort by neighborhood, price and “near me” using the location finder.

Mom Maps: I call this nationwide app a work-in-progress, at least as far as NYC is concerned. It does have great potential, though. Users input and review their favorite Kid-friendly locations: parks, playground, indoor play, restaurants, etc. As it relies on user input, your mileage may vary. Case in point was our group of twelve following Mom Maps directions to a closed and decrepit “playground” in Hell’s Kitchen. That said, it was all part of the adventure!

We also made good use of the usual dining apps: UrbanSpoon and Open Table although neither was all that useful with a group of sixteen.

So, Spring Breakers out there…..which apps make your travels easier? Please share!

They Really Have No Idea, Do They?

Kids these days. Can't you just you hear your grandfather’s voice in you now? 

Sometimes I jokingly remind my kids, “when I was your age, we had one TV with five channels and no remote. You had to actually get up and walk across the room to change the channel.” They feign surprise and a hint of indignation, but I seriously doubt they have a clue about the relative home entertainment hardship my generation endured. The fact that we could only watch the exciting hit shows of the time, “Happy Days” and “Laverne and Shirley”, on Friday nights at 8pm and 8:30pm respectively, and that if I had to go to the bathroom, I needed to hold it until a commercial. Mostly lost on them.

They try to understand and put things in perspective, as only an eight and five year old can do. Case in point. Yesterday, my son was asking how IBM could be 100 years old as a company when computers have not been around that long. Good point.

My husband and I gave him the background that International Business Machines is the original name and we started noting some, now defunct, “business machines.” They were really engaged when we got to the typewriter and reminded them of places they had seen old-fashioned typewriters before. They were nodding and getting it, and we felt so connected, until the older one said, “I get it! Before computers and iPads, people used IBM typewriters to send their emails.”  Sigh.

So, it is time to share.  What are some of today’s conveniences that replace the “relative hardships” of your youth that your kids probably cannot comprehend?

{N.B. I turned on Anonymous commenting so you don’t need a Google account to comment, but feel free to sign your name anyway.}

The Smurfs Woke Me at 5am

While the cartoon Smurfs are sorta cute, a 5am wake-up call by the virtual ones is not. 

This saga begins a few weeks ago when my husband had been traveling for almost two weeks.  I was so tired of hearing, "Can I go on the computer?" and "I never get to go on the computer," yet I wasn't sure where to draw the line for our house.  I was trying to stay flexible.  Keep my options open.  I started writing my thoughts here and researching on-line and with friends to learn more about what is appropriate for kids in general, for my kids and for our family.  The lack of rules in this area had led to a "wear Mom down" mentality and was causing more trouble than what ever point I was trying to make was worth.

Every house is different and some studies suggest far more screen time than we plan to allow in our house.  The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests "no more than one to two hours" per day for school-age kids. (AAP Website on Media Issues.)  Many of my friends don't allow any screen time during the week (they are clearly better parents ;-))  With my husband frequently away on business, I'm not brave enough to go cold turkey.  After doing some research, talking with John, and polling various friends, we settled on a rule of 30 minutes of screen time per day/per child.  The net result is really one hour per kid since they watch each other.  Sidebar: Now would be a good time to take the poll to the right of your screen (hint hint!) 

Under the new rules, screen time is only available after other chores (homework, piano, clothes in hamper, dishes cleared, etc) are complete.  Screen time can be lost for the day for several reasons and cannot be carried over.  Screen time, which currently takes place on the iPad, is timed via oven timer, and the user must get up, relinquish the iPad, and turn off the timer when finished.  The kids bought into the new plan and we were a happy family again.

Until the Smurfs. 

No one in the house knows exactly how the Smurfs landed on the iPad (the popular theory is that the five year old did it), but there they were and they were making themselves known. 

In Smurfs' Village (probably a bit like Farmville, although I've never played that), the Smurfs plant gardens of raspberries, carrots, and other crops, which grow at different rates, must be picked before they wilt, and can be traded up for more seeds and, the ever-important XP (experience points) which allow the players to gain entry to new and higher levels of the Smurfs' Village.  I can pretend the kids are gaining valuable planning and farming skills, but I have my doubts as to the true educational nature of this game.

I have, however, no doubt about the addictive nature of it.  The game pushes frequent pop-up reminders to the iPad with a loud ping and message stating, "Your raspberries are ready to harvest!"  Upon hearing the ping, the kids drop everything and run to attend to their crops before they "wilt".  Within days, my little farmers were obsessed.  I was dumbfounded.  One day, after I wearily put the iPad on Silent mode - after a ping at 5AM! - they blamed me for letting their crops wilt.

Thanks to the Smurfs, our 30-minute rule quickly devolved into 30 minutes of crop building, followed by on-going checking, harvesting and replanting at various intervals throughout the day.

There is a lot of information available on the addictive nature of on-line gaming, especially role playing and virtual reality types.  Much of the research is focused on teens and college students.  I believe the prevalence of iPhones and iPads and games like these among the younger set presents a wake-up call for parents everywhere.  I'm starting to read up on the impact of constant and addictive screen time on the developing impulse control and attention span of younger kids and will share any conclusions I find soon, but I don't think it has been long enough to know the real long-term effect of the i-devices.

In the meantime, my early-morning Smurfs wake-up call was the beginning of the end for the Smurfs in our house.  Kids, especially my kids, need to have limits set for them, and to have moderation modeled, even when it means letting the Smurfs' Village raspberries wilt.

You've Come a Long Way, Baby!

In 1998, I was a single career woman already spending more time than I care to admit at work.  When offered a company-paid cell phone, I proudly said "No thanks!  Whoever needs to reach me, can call my desk, leave a message, or send me an e-mail!"  By the standards of most Microsoft employees, I was a Luddite. One day, I was re-org'd into the mobile division and the argument was moot. And so it began.  

The transformation began slowly. I met my future husband (in that new mobile division btw), we married, traveled, and within a few years, we had two children, two tech careers, and two mortgages. We were a Seattle cliché. Having a vacation home without TV or Internet access, meant that mobile phone became a handy tool in allowing us to unplug and have more freedom and time with the kids.  We could do conference calls from the beach.  And we did! 

I left work in 2007, but retained my smart phone. I was used to having my calendar, contacts, and e-mail on the go. Plus, I now had play dates to schedule!  Since I was no longer chained to the proverbial keyboard, and could be all over town in a single day, I actually - dare I say - "needed" the smart phone in case the pre-school or another mom needed to reach me. The habit was formed.

I'm not quite sure when we truly jumped the abyss, but I do recall that the 3rd generation iPhone coincided with our move to the Silicon Valley, and my resulting new habitat - the quiet suburbs.  Without a job, a consulting gig, or even a corner coffee shop with hip art and music and interesting looking pierced and tattooed people, I was without much of the intellectual and creative stimuli I had been feeding on since leaving my suburban childhood home at age 18.  After a few trips to the playgrounds of Palo Alto, all I wanted for Mother's Day was what everyone else had: an iPhone.  Once that wish came true, the world of handheld picture taking, news, music, podcasts, and other apps was opened to us.  

What an entertaining and addictive world it has become.  For me and for the whole family. 

It seems like a slow twelve year slide from a relatively peaceful unplugged time to one where every moment of downtime could be filled by checking for new e-mails or Daily Digests from my Yahoo groups, breaking news headlines, or witty Facebook updates, anytime and anyplace. Contrasting my initial futile resistance with today's total surrender, I can't help but think it's a sad new twist on the Virginia Slims "You've come a long way, baby!" ads.  The 21st century addiction.

I quit my job for many reasons, but the biggest one was the reduce stress on our family and on me.  To rid myself of that feeling of being "Always On".  Adopting an iPhone changed that.  Rather than being reluctantly pulled back into work mode at anytime, anywhere, I started proactively seeking a connection to this alternative stimulus between kid pick-ups, at lengthy red lights, or once even while my child was showering after swimming lessons.

"You've come a long way, baby!"  But is it where I really want to go?  Our family evolution and dance with our devices are the inspiration for this blog, as are my observations of friends and other families at those sometimes tedious suburban playgrounds. Especially as I see how the habits of the parents influence the habits of kids, I've started seeking awareness and change. Of myself.  Of my husband.

In addition to writing about and trying to understand this new world, I am trying to dial back, reflect, and make a bigger attempt to unplug, while regularly finding ways to feed my brain and also my soul. <how deep, Rebecca!>

It's a challenge.  Surely any adult, particularly those who traded a stimulating work environment for the slower paced kid-friendly suburbs, is constantly tempted by that magic connection to the greater exciting world just sitting there in our pocket.  Exactly how does one balance that constant lure of the outside world via iPhone against the importance of setting a good example of resisting temptation for our children?  Time to start thinking about it, baby!