Social Media, Social Lives Teen Study from Commonsense Media

Some very interesting studies on Internet usage have hit the Interwebs in recent weeks.  Chekka looka these nuggets to become informed about the social media usage of today's teens. For those of you (including me) who are still a safe distance from the teen years, take a good, long look at your sweet child, then take a deep breath and a mental snapshot.  You might also want to steer clear of high schools and shopping malls for awhile.  Now, on to the study.....

The non-profit organization Commonsense Media used a nationally representative, probability-based sample of 13- to 17-year-olds to create the report:

Commonsense Media: Social Media, Social Lives: How Teens View Their Digital Lives

The report illustrated just how much social media is woven into the daily lives of most teens:

• Three out of four (75%) teenagers currently have a profile on a social networking site, and one in five (22%) has a current Twitter account.
• 68% of teens surveyed text a least once a day, half (51%) visit social networking sites daily, and 11% send or receive tweets at least once a day. 
• More than a third (34%) of teens visit their main social networking site several times a day.

While the term "addiction" was not defined in the questions, 41% of cell phone-owning teens answered "yes" when asked whether they would describe themselves as "addicted" to their phones.

The apple does not fall far from the tree in media usage as 28% of those whose parents have a mobile device say they consider their parents "addicted" to their gadgets, and 21% of all teens say they wish their parents spent less time with their cell phones and other devices.  This same sentiment was well illustrated in the 2011 book Alone Together written by MIT psychologist Sherri Turkle.

On a positive note, the study also reveals teens reported various personal impacts from social media including making them feel less shy (29%), more outgoing (28%); more confident (20%), more popular (19%), and more sympathetic to others (19%). Fifteen percent say it makes them feel better about themselves.

The study contains good news for parents eager to maintain communications with their teen as more than a third (37%) say social media use has mainly helped their relationships with family members.

While social media is not going anywhere, some teens long for a break:

• Forty-three percent of teens agree strongly or somewhat that they sometimes wish they could "unplug" 
• More than a third agree at least "somewhat" that they sometimes wish they could go back to a time when there was no Facebook.

While I have no idea where all of this is headed, at least I won't be completely surprised in a few years. Then again, all of social media is only a few years old today, isn't it?

Click here to view a larger version of colorful Infographic from Commonsense Media:  

Will Handwriting Go the Way of The Dodo?

In this age of rapid change, I often ponder which skills and character traits will be most needed for my kids in the future. Some are timeless: honesty, personal responsibility, a sense of humor, math facts, integrity, good manners, empathy, good hygiene and a strong work ethic. 

Some would argue the need for "math facts" in this calculator-in-your-pocket era, but I'm holding out on that one. Being quick with numbers is useful worldwide for use in large negotiations and simple market transactions and that is not going to change. I mean who whips out their phone to calculate tip in a taxi cab or restaurant?

New necessities: a global mindset and experience, patience, flexibility, entrepreneurship, and the ability to think fast and write well.

Skills I'll probably never use again: push-reel lawn mowing, paper map navigation, winding up a car window, and perusing the Encyclopedia Britannica which - by the way - announced in March it will cease printing after 244 years!

One life skill I've never questioned, is handwriting. Yet, my son's third grade teacher doesn't think kids will use handwriting in "about ten years". Not just cursive, which has its own debate, but good old fashioned pen and paper, love letter, Declaration of Independence signing handwriting. Gone before they get to college. Rendered obsolete by the prevalence of touchscreen keypad, fingerprint readers, and Siri's future grandchildren.

An interesting article debating the demise of cursive explains that handwriting has not actually been around that long and its demise has been predicted before. The article mentions that an observer in 1955 in the Saturday Evening Post complained somewhat hilariously:

“Nowadays people compose all their letters on a typewriter, or dictate them to a tape recorder, or sign them with a rubber stamp, and, as a result, the muscles of the thumb and forefinger which were formerly employed to grip a pen have fallen largely into disuse, except for picking olives out of Martinis or occasionally pinching stenographers in crowded elevators.”  

How very Mad Men!

Still it surprised me to hear that my son's third grade teacher believes the demise of handwriting is truly near. This is not some naive, newfangled teacher, too. She is a 20-year veteran of teaching. Her children are grown. Working in the heart of Silicon Valley, her classroom has the benefit of smart boards and document cameras which she uses wisely. Yet she is pretty down to earth. I'm sure she gardens and reads books made of paper. She commutes a decent distance to school on foot. In other words, she has her feet firmly on the ground so I cannot dismiss her prediction as crazy.

We both agree and have accepted that - like it or not - technology is a part of these kids' lives. She has taken that additional step by confidently believing that handwriting will soon go the way of the DoDo. Despite my son's messy penmanship, I'm still not ready to go there. Are you?

Is Madonna Really Lady Gaga's Grandma?

Uh no. But my nine-year old son did think that for a short bit after tonight's Super Bowl. The conversation was brief:

Son: Who is that?

Me: Madonna

Son: Who is she?

Me: Lady Gaga's Grandma

As my husband nearly spat out his beer, I congratulated myself on providing an explanation far more succinct than the one I fumbled a few nights earlier when the same son asked about the meaning of the song "Moves Like Jagger." "Um, er, ever hear of the Rolling Stones? Jumpin' Jack Flash? Hon, we've got some work to do". 

Bathed in the culture and trivia of Star Wars and Harry Potter, my kids are pretty clueless about pop culture and music icons in general. I have no qualms about shielding them from the WB or Hanna Montana and take little offense to the popular position of being anti-Justin Bieber on the playground.

That being said, we've neglected to give our kids much exposure to the truly innovative REAL cultural icons that inspired and influence those they hear now. My nine-year old moon-walked (accidentally) the other night in the kitchen and my husband and I struggled to explain the original and insanely talented Michael Jackson...remember before all that other stuff? Our son took off to play before we could pull up a YouTube video – which would have hardly done justice to MJ’s talent and impact on music and dance today.

Thanks to Pandora, we listen to plenty of music around the house, but it trends toward alternative and English folky (or whatever you call Mumford & Sons and David Gray, etc) or a bit of grunge when we're feeling homesick for Seattle. Notable female singers like Sarah MacLachlan, Florence and the Machine, and Annie Lennox waft through the house on my "me" days, but most of this goes right through their heads.

The accidental moonwalk and Madonna’s pretty-darn-impressive-for-a-53-year old Super Bowl performance have inspired me to seek out, and share with the kids, a few icons of their parent’s generation. Who needs (or can afford) Lego camp? Maybe it's time for rock-n-roll roots camp this summer. We can start with Madonna and Michael, and then move on to all that classic rock of the 60s and 70s I grew up listening to on 92.3 KGON in Portland. That’s right, KGON <Still> Rocks 24/7 by the way, if you ever need a fix. Why stop there? We’ll keep working back through the Beatles, Elvis, the Supremes and the whole Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame collection of musical roots. Good god, we’ve got our work cut out.

Madonna may not be Lady Gaga’s grandmother, without her breakthrough influence, there would be no House of Gaga. Most of the other clowns on MTV -- or whatever music video channel kids watch today -- would be nobodies without the influence of people old enough to be their grandparents: So here’s to a few favs: Mick, Ron, Charlie, Keith (Richards and Moon), Roger (Waters and Daltrey), Pete, Jim and so on – It’s time to start Talkin 'Bout My Generation!

Coming to Terms with the Lego Marketing Juggernaut

The new Lego magazine came this week. The arrival of this bimonthly marketing publication reminds me I've had "cancel Lego magazine" on my To-do list for a good long time. I haven't had the heart, so I must not be the "mean mom" my kids sometimes refer to....not yet anyway.

Lego -- which is Danish for "play well" -- was started in 1932 by a Danish carpenter. Today, Legos are sold in 130 countries.  Not long ago, Lego was losing money and an acquisition target.  Since then, it has engineered an amazing turnaround, in large part by churning out licensed Lego versions of popular brands: Star Wars, Harry Potter, and an ill-fated Prince of Persia (remember the buffed up Jake Gyllenhall mini-figure?). The company that means play well, has learned to market well.  

New products today are released with drumbeat timing supported by interactive content on Lego.com, board games, video games, "visual" encyclopedias, and comic book-like magazine inserts sent to children worldwide.  It's a veritable marketing powerhouse.    

In the current issue we learn that DC Comics characters are the next new thing. Batman & Robin. Superman. The Joker. Wonder Woman.  In Lego form, coming to a plastic Gotham near you. Draining piggy banks in households everywhere!  

It is great fun to see my sons' eyes light up when they spot the new magazine peeking out from the mailbox. It occupies them for days and fills their conversations. The magazine arrival borders on a community event in some circles. Kids exuberantly run up to their equally-excited friends to rejoice in the latest Hero Factory 3.0 characters....which are apparently much better than the 2.0 guys, although no child can clearly articulate why. The buzz resembles that of an i-phone release among adults, except it happens every two months, and these are five to nine year olds.  

The magazine's arrival has the power to alter the mood in our house from "play well" toward, "I want that!".  That can get me down. We have a LOT of Legos, yet a new magazine causes my sons to forget the sets and characters they once pined for and received as gifts, earned, or bought with their own money. Whatever Lego decides to feature in the next issue, that is what the kids covet most.  

On the heels of a Christmas holiday filled with moderate, yet perfectly happy, gift giving and receiving, I've started to fight back against the juggernaut. I want my kids to be conscientious consumers and be thankful for what they have. I am responsible for teaching them to be wise to marketing tricks disguised as entertainment.

Let's face it. You can't beat Lego. If I cancel the magazine, the neighbor boys or schoolmates would bring it over. So why not join my “foe” by developing some sneaky messaging of my own? For example:

"Tell me, how exactly is Von Nebula 3.0 sooo much better than 2.0? Is that worth your $12?"

"Did you know the Lego company earned $3.5 billion kroner last year? Some of that money was your allowance!" For the currency exchange-challenged, that's US $670 million, but it sounds bigger in Danish money. 

"If you are no longer excited about Rocka, now that Rocka XL is here, I know plenty of other kids would love to have him".

While trying to teach my kids to question advertising, look for real value in upgrades, and spot savvy marketing, I also hope they internalize that happiness can come from being content with the toys you have, especially when you understand that many kids would love just some of that.

My sons may not be fully aware of my motives, yet my questions do give them pause.  They nod slowly, before starting back up about how the latest Furno Bike now has dual plasma blasters.  I smile. "Is that so?"  

I hope to be encouraging my children to "play well" and be more empathetic, while also becoming wise little consumers. It is a tall order, yet necessary.

Our kids will be the most marketed-to generation yet. They’ll need to be savvy to hold onto their hard-earned dollars as they maneuver the daily gauntlet of advertising and sneaky promotions. First we mastered skipping TV commercials. Now we must find a way to deal with new marketing avenues:  banner ads, social media, app pop-ups, and product catalogs cleverly disguised as comic books....courtesy of the marketing geniuses at the Lego Company.

Thank you Steve Jobs

You have changed our lives and those of our children in ways we have only begun to understand. 

Steve Jobs passed away the same day my son turned nine.  My kids can barely recall their life before the iPhone, iPad and downloadable apps.  The world Steve envisioned and created through Apple is so deeply woven into our lives.  So much that it provided the inspiration for this blog.

Our indoctrination into the i-generation occurred when we moved to Palo Alto, which lays claim as a sort of ground-zero for the creation of Apple. Many ideas came out of Xerox Palo Alto Research Center (PARC).  Steve was a local figure in town.  He grew up in nearby Mountain View. His kids went to our schools and his Halloween decorations are legendary, so his life and passing is being widely discussed in our paper.

Of course this is not just a Silicon Valley thing.  The homes of my friends elsewhere are filled with daily banter about earning "screen time" and the quality of latest apps so-and-so's dad downloaded.  
 
When we told the kids that Steve Jobs had died, my neighbor compared him to Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo.  That seems valid enough for the high tech population, but we will not know for years just how far reaching his global impact will be.  Apple products remain out of reach for much of the world's population.

My first computer experiences were on an Apple 2e in the university computer lab (yes, I am that old!).  Yet until five years ago, we were an all Microsoft house.  I worked there for a decade and even met my husband at Microsoft in Redmond, WA.

Christmas 2006 brought an iPod and Sounddock into our home.  Out went the 15-year old stereo and CD player.  When I left work and my company-issued laptop, in came the MacBook I'm using right now.  Enter the iPhone.  The iPad.  Now the kids' lives were enriched, too. 

When our Dell PC died last January, we barely noticed, so enchanted we were by the iPad.  Our music comes from Pandora or iTunes via iPhones and iPods.  The kids use MacBooks in the classroom.  Their teachers have iPads.  I have incredible respect for Bill Gates and many people who have worked at Microsoft over the years, but there is no denying the impact of Steve Jobs - or that we are fully drenched in the iKool-Aid of Silicon Valley.

Living here means your neighbors are typically into computers - as hobby and profession.  Ironically, the day of Jobs' passing was also the day our house was transformed into an all Apple household through the delivery of a used PowerMac G5 that will become our "family PC."

So the PC on our desktop now is a Mac.

My kids will use it for school and for fun.  The world envisioned by Steve is the world they will know.  It is the world in which they will grow.  It's an engaging, entertaining, educational and amazing world.  I'll forever cherish the joy on my 88-year old grandmother's face the first time she could see and speak with my kids - 3000 miles away - courtesy of Skype and the iPad2.  It was easy to set up and easy to do and it enriched our lives greatly.

I may often get frustrated with their screen-time obsession and chase my kids outside to play, but I truly do believe this world, this i-generation world, is a wonderful world to live in.

Thank you sincerely, Steve, for creating it.

Form Good Habits Now: Brush, Floss, Put Down the iPhone

 

If you want more support in favor of managing screen time while your children are young, check out a new study that finds more mental and physical health issues in teens who are frequent users of Facebook and other on-line media, including gaming and the Internet.

The results of the study, titled, “Poke Me: How Social Networks Can Both Help and Harm Our Kids,” was unveiled last weekend by Dr. Larry D. Rosen, a professor of psychology at California State University, Dominguez Hills.  I found it in the predictably titled article: "Kids Who Use Facebook Do Worse in School."  Rosen's study highlights how we are just beginning to understand the psychological implications of ubiquitous use of social media among young people.

A worrisome paragraph in the article is:

"Teenagers and young adults who are persistently logged on to Facebook are more often to show psychological disorders, like mania, paranoia, aggressive tendencies , antisocial behavior and increased alcohol use. These teens also more often displayed narcissistic tendencies, which are fed by their ability to constantly broadcast information about themselves through Facebook."

While not too surprising to anyone who has been pondering the long-term social effects of this new on-line world in which we live, it is sobering.  And sad.  

His study observed that most kids - in this case middle school age up to college students - when asked to study a subject in which they are truly interested for just fifteen minutes were off-task within three minutes.  Despite knowing they were being observed, these kids could not resist letting their minds and hands wander to check for texts or Facebook posts.  Of course the research points out that kids who can resist the urge to multi-task do better in school.

I've been concerned for awhile about the addictive nature of iPad/iPhone apps on attention span and ability to focus in my kids - i-generation kids.  So concerned that I started this blog!  Even at ages six and eight, their perceived "need" to get to the next Ninjago level or check on their Smurfville crops increases exponentially with every occurrence of screen time - even less than 30 minutes a day.  How are they going to resist the urge later, when they are not limited by mom or dad?

For older kids, Rosen mentions the tactic of "tech breaks" as a solution: telling kids they can have one minute to check their media after fifteen minutes of uninterrupted study.  Apparently, the multi-tasking issue is pervasive enough among young people that Rosen is advocating for the use of "tech breaks" in schools.

For the younger ones, he talks about the importance of building good screen time habits now.  As the parent of children over which we still have some influence, my husband and I are taking this research to heart.  We are talking to our kids about their habits, distinguishing between real and virtual worlds, and re-doubling our efforts to engage them in off-line activities like playing games and making up stories.  While we still can.

We already know that the part of the human brain responsible for impulse control continues developing until well into the late teens and early 20s - especially for boys.  What remains unknown is the effect habitual usage of i-generation apps will have on brain development and higher brain functions, such as impulse control, especially when it begins in toddlerhood.  Who among us has not pacified our kids with an iPhone recently?  My i-generation kids will develop better patience, impulse control and persistence skills if I make sure they ample opportunities to flex them.

Dr. Rosen has been studying the effects of technology on people for more than 25 years.  In a telling quote at the end of his remarks he notes that his own children, ages 21 and 24 are constantly using technology and says: “I'm so happy I was able to raise them in an era when the worst thing was a bad video game.”

Going out on an alarmist limb here.....will unchecked on-line use be the i-generation's drug problem?  Will a future First Lady start a "Just Say No to Apps" campaign?

Clearly there is a wealth of richness and benefit we enjoy from the Internet and all this wonderful mobile technology.  I love my iPhone!  Our iPad has completely displaced our PC (sorry Microsoft)!

That said, from this day forward, our house is putting screen time management high on the list of good habits, right up there with brushing and flossing and cleaning up after yourself.  The time to form good self-care habits is now.  If you believe in the results of this study, managing screen time has become another form of self care.  A habit we can, and should, help our children form now, while we still have some degree of control over them.

Into the Wild

Last weekend we were fortunate to be invited on a multi-family camping trip in the California Redwoods.  My husband and I have done some camping - he more than I - but we hadn't yet done a full family campout, kids and all.  Cold water? Late night trips to the pit toilet? No electricity?  No problem. I was raised in Oregon after all. I like tall trees. I've slept on damp ground. I'm hardy.

Hardy or not, camping with kids is a ton of work!  They want cocoa with marshmallows. They want s’mores. They need changes of clothes and a good night’s sleep. The bulk of the pre-trip week was devoted to making and reviewing checklists and tossing various kitchen items, tools, and foodstuffs into a large tub. Trips to REI, Costco and OSH. Planning. Purchasing. Packing. Overpacking. My husband was in London all week and not set to return until Friday, after our planned departure time. Due to his being in charge of most loading and hauling, he is normally the voice of reason in the packing department. Well that voice was too far away for me to hear.  The car was stuffed.

On Friday afternoon, an hour before John was due to land back in the States, the kids and I were off.  Knowing their father would be tired from the flight, and wanting to flex my campworthiness, I crowned my boys temporary "man-of-the-house" and "second-in-command" thinking I could secure their help in setting up camp before dark. Ours were walk-in campsites which have the benefit of being away from cars and their non-woodsy noises, yet require you to haul e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g to the site.  Hardy.  From Oregon.

When we arrived, the kids carried down a sleeping bag or two, and then scampered off to join the ten other kids - ages 5 to 11 - in hollering and running all over the woods. In no time, they had built a fort with sticks and pine boughs in the base of a giant redwood tree. My younger son convinced me it was a former bear cave.

As the parents continued to haul gear and pitch tents, the kids broke into teams, started using pretend code names. Then they established jobs such as guarding the cave, procuring building materials, and gathering pine cones. When someone went over to the dark side and tried to invade the cave, it led to a "Lord of the Flies" situation where the "prisoner" was hauled into and detained in a hollowed out redwood tree trunk. When I passed by the scene, on load five or six from the car, they were guarding him with long sticks and wild eyes. He was in on the game, at least for the initial stages.

Day two brought a hike on which the kids forded streams on fallen logs and ran ahead of the parents only to ambush us with a ululating war cry reminiscent of Planet of the Apes. We all learned how to spot poison oak and stinging nettles, some a bit too late unfortunately. By afternoon, the arsenal of pine cones had become a currency with values assigned according to their uniqueness and quality. Cones were used to purchase various sizes of whittled sticks in a makeshift "store." Stick whittlers were on different pay scales and people took timed "breaks." Such inventiveness. And not an iPad in sight!

Sounds idyllic, doesn't it? Ten kids - eight boys and two girls - spending two days running freely, breathing fresh air, collecting pine cones, whittling sticks, creating a mini-civilization, comparing banana slugs, eating S'mores, and chucking various things into the fire-pit when parents weren't looking. They enjoyed each others company and flexed their imaginations while stoking campfire flames and telling each other about their latest dreams. No one asked for screen time.

Now that we are back - and still unpacking - I look forward to more camping trips and hope they result in just as much free-form fun and as many lasting memories. Not just for me, but for my kids. I also sincerely hope my kids - and their friends - have internalized how much more thrilling camping is than even the heartiest round of Angry Birds. They better. Hardy or not, camping with kids is a lot of work.

**This post first appeared over at Silicon Valley Mamas on June 3rd.  Come check 'em out.

Opting Out of the End-of-School-Year Scramble

Do you ever consider it?  Just packing up early and heading out of town simply to avoid the last two weeks of school end-of-year parties, end-of-season parties, recitals, movie nights, award ceremonies, field days, and all manner of other excuses for another juice-box and pizza-filled celebration?  By this point in the year, it's not like there is much learning going on.  So why not just head to the hills - or Yosemite - before the summer crowds arrive?

Lisa Belkin - who always seems to be reading my mind ;-) - recently addressed this in her Motherlode column in the New York Times.  I had been griping about the end of year craziness all last week to anyone who would listen, and then I saw it in print, in her May 31st column called The End-of-School-Year Scramble.  I enjoy reading her brief pieces, yet I often find much more entertainment and enlightenment in the comments section where all sorts of opinionated, and often quite witty, people from across the nation and world chime in with their own personal perspective.

On this topic, I'd put the bulk of commenters into a few categories:

The Harried Helpless: those who are genuinely overwhelmed by it all, yet somehow feel powerless to make a change or stop the madness for fear of upsetting their children (or their friends) in some way.  Many of these commenters seem to come from Northern Virginia and the Midwest.  Hmmm.

The Bitter Breadwinners:  More than a few people pointed a finger toward their nemesis, the bored "SAHM" contingent who some of these commenters suggest sit around all day dredging up parties and events to fill the ample time "they" all seem to have on their hands. **

The Artful Avoiders: Those who manage to cherry pick a few of what they deem the most meaningful events and avoid the rest.

So where does your family fall?  Or are you - you unique person you - not so easily categorized?  I'd like to think we are Artful Avoiders, but since I don't work for a salary anymore and we are still establishing roots and friendships in this area, I fear we are often one of the Harried Helpless; that is, part of the problem itself.

To that end, I am trying to do my small part to curtail waste generated by many of these events in which we participate.  In addition to voting "no" to trophies, goody bags, and other trinkets, I've increasingly become a bit of a commenter (not quite a crusader) against all the juiceboxes, juice-pouches and snack wrappers generated by these events.

While I know my comments are not always welcome, and I am sure there are plenty of other more important causes to take on than juiceboxes, there does seem to be a growing awareness in our community about "going green" at more of these events.  Not quite as much as the evergreen Seattle community we left, but it is here, too.  Tonight, my son is attending a potluck where families have been asked to bring their own dishes and utensils.  I applaud this group for that, even if that is exactly what one should expect from the Cub Scouts.

The other conversation I'm starting to hear is that of opting out of the less meaningful parts of this end-of-year bonanza.  Of the trophy.  Of the goody bag.  Of the entire party in some cases.  The family calendar is saturated and wise parents are realizing that all meaning is lost on a child once they reach their seventh pizza party of the month.  When your child says "Can we just stay home tonight?"  That is the time to opt-out of the scramble.  Your family, and the environment, are likely to be all better off when you do.


**  I was a full-time working mom for 4.5 long years and am sympathetic to the pros and cons of both "sides".  That said, it is fun to try out a little dramatic prose for the sake of entertainment.

Becoming a Tweeter

So much for minimizing technology!  All (five of) you other Tweeters out there can now follow me at: @igenkids

Why?  Well, one of my posts is soon to be featured, alongside some very talented writers, bloggers.....and tweeters, on a site called Silicon Valley Mamas.  If all goes well, we'll link to each other, they'll take future posts, and we can all grow together organically.  I'm looking forward to learning from these social media savvy moms and from this experience and, well, all those talented women tweet, so I figured....  My justification, because there always has to be one, is that it sounds like fun and yet another way to stay on top of this stuff and keep a half a toe in the world of paid work.

I'm equally excited and confused about this deepening of my relationship with the on-line world I fled a mere four years ago.  When I reflect on the fact that my three-month old blog hobby began, in the wee hours of a February night, out of sheer desperation to keep my kids partially free from the total technological immersion of Silicon Valley, becoming a Tweeter, seems like such a sell-out.

Will have to explore that later, I have a slippery slope to catch....

How the i-Generation Shares its "Cooties"

Head lice.  Do I have your attention now or did those two words make you click and run away? 

It's the fear and potential embarrassment of parents of school-age kids everywhere.  Spend some time chatting with a group of parents and you'll find that many have quietly dealt with them at one point or another. Regardless, just about everyone gets the heebie geebies at the thought of having to face the little critters in their home and on their child's head. Check out people's body language the next time someone brings up this engaging topic at a social gathering. Eeeeww. Not even the most detail-oriented person wants to literally be a "nitpicker". 

When we moved to the Bay Area we discovered that Lice Check Coordinator is an actual PTA role - and a difficult one to fill! Upon learning that our school conducts three official Lice Checks of every child throughout the school year, I realized I should probably educate myself and my family on how to avoid the little buggers.  Note: While I am certain kids in Washington state also encounter head lice as often as those in California, the small Seattle schools my kids attended did not have formal checking programs.

Quickly the kids and I started to educate ourselves about lice. They were as grossed out as I was. We read up on what they look like and how they travel - by walking. We learned what the nits look like and how to differentiate them from simple dandruff or cradle cap. In addition to experiencing the phobia-inducing checks by volunteer parents sporting fine tooth combs and surgical gloves, my kids learned they should neither share nor swap hats. A bigger challenge during t-ball season. On the home front, when I'm on top of my game domestically, I toss all coats - especially hoodies - into the dryer for 20-30 minutes on Fridays.  Whenever a lice notice is sent home from school, I launder the coats and perform little spot checks on the kids for a few nights while they brush their teeth.

Soon after taking these prophylactic measures, I was feeling well protected against the hassle of head lice.  "Can't Touch This!" Not my kids or our house, I thought. Life was good in lice-free land....until the day I spotted my Kindergartner and two friends, huddled together over an iPhone. Heads touching. Ack! Did they forget that lice can "walk" from one head to another?

Nothing resulted from the iphone huddle, yet I felt compelled to make sure my kids understood these new "risks".  While avoiding t-ball hat trading is easy, the pledge to keep heads from touching goes out the window as soon as kids are connecting over Cut the Rope or Angry Birds. Let's face it. They're gonna touch. It's another new fact of life with this i-generation.

While I thank my lucky stars for not yet having to battle the little critters, I know that our time may come.  Whether courtesy of a Nintendo DS, a Leapster, an iPad or something else, my kids' heads will touch other kids' heads. I just hope the heads they touch don't have lice.

Not sure what sort of comments are in order after this little piece, but, as with any entry, please feel free to share your thoughts!

Have a great weekend,
Rebecca

P.S.  You can thank me later for not including a photo with this post. ;-)

How Do You Counter the Summer Slide?

 

Inquiring minds want to know.  Really, we do!

I'd never even heard of the "Summer Slide" until a guy promoting summer camps spoke last night at our school's PTA meeting.  I missed the first few minutes, but I gathered the "problem" he was there to solve was an academic concern shared by schools and parents.  His one-hour response to that apparently urgent question could easily have been wrapped with a five-minute plea to send our kids to his camp and only his camp.  Instead, he lumbered through two dozen Powerpoint slides that did not even try to mask his message that the "hybrid" camps he represents are far more enriching and well rounded than all those other camps we were considering.  Surprise!

Going in, I knew how the "Summer Slide" presentation would play out; yet as PTA Secretary, I needed to attend the meeting. THAT is a another blog post for another time.

The one interesting part of the presentation was a discussion he fostered between the dozen or so parents in attendance.  We were asked to share our summer goals for our children in the areas of:  Academic, Physical, Social, Life Skills and Hobbies.

While many shared a concern about kids losing their ability to write or recall their multiplication facts,  the majority of parents expressed a desire for their kids to learn new skills or just to enjoy their families and their free time.  Swimming and playing were high on the list, as was visiting extended family in other parts of the country or world.  One mom with older kids plans to teach them how to cook.  Now there's a good life skill!  Inspired by that mom, I decided I will teach my older one to build a fire at the beach; the old fashioned way, with matches and tinder and kindling.  You know, in case he's ever stranded on a remote island somewhere.  Life Skill - check!

When they are not training for Survivor, my kids will attend a variety of summer camps and spend plenty of time in the pool.  This is not driven by summer slide prevention, but by the fact that I'm neither a martyr nor Julie Andrews.  They truly want to attend Mini-Hawks, Lego camp, a music/theater camp, and even an outdoor woodsy camp with a sleepover and macrame crafts.

Even with several weeks of camp, a ten-week summer still seems like a wealth of time.  You know how you always optimistically bring too many books for a cross-country flight or vacation?  I do.  In the same vein, right now in early May, summer seems like such a great opportunity to pick up new skills and experiences that we are unable to do the rest of the year when pesky school schedules and PTA meetings get in the way.

So here is the part of my blog when I ask for your input.  We're trying to create a little community here ;-)  You can comment anonymously, but please share:  Forget this summer slide nonsense, what fun things are your kids doing this summer?

Start Spreading the News….

Our family has just returned from Spring Break in New York. After a brief, but nice visit with my mom and my 88-year old grandmother on the far end of Long Island, we dropped off the rental car and headed into New York City.  Cue the Sinatra! 

What followed was a well-packed week of museums, skyscrapers, funky neighborhoods, the requisite “bagel with a schmear” and plenty of good old New York fun. Part of the time, it was just our family of four meandering around the city that never sleeps. For about three days, we were joined by as many as twelve extended family members, touring and traipsing together around the Big Apple.

It was great fun. Seriously! That said, seeing the sights via sidewalk and subway with sixteen people – including eight kids ages 3 to 13 - requires communication, coordination and flexibility, as well as a fair dose of patience.

Our phones were a vital resource. In addition to relying heavily on texting to stay in touch when our group split for naps or to explore separately, we leaned on a few key iPhone apps for reliable, on-the-go access to subway and street maps, restaurant recommendations, and details on avoiding lines at the major attractions.

I cannot express how much easier and spontaneous traveling can be when you have some trusty iPhone apps in hand. Below are some of my favorite – and FREE – NYC-related travel apps from this trip:

Google Maps: A favorite standby for getting from point A to B, no matter where you travel.

NYC Way: Whether you are a local or a tourist, the NYC Way app is a winner! Three pages of icons loaded with information such as: restrooms, Street Eats, Coffee, Wi-Fi, Cross St Finder, Grocery, Banks, Kid-Friendly (a favorite). There is even an icon for the lighting schedule of the Empire State Building. Location-specific items give an address and distance from your current location. Click on a location for contact information, to call directly, or get directions from your current spot.

Ten of the 16 on the NYC subway platform.

Subway Map Apps: We used these constantly. There is not much of a wireless signal underground so the apps use a static map. You still need a general understanding of the subway system, but having a tiny version in your hand provides a discrete way to verify your route when you find yourself on a crowded train far from an official map or unable to hear the conductor; important when you are riding an express train downtown. I used the NY Transport Map by OnDemand World the most. They provide maps for major metropolitan cities worldwide. Another good one is NYC Subway KICKMap by Kick Delight, LLC, which handily separates out local and express into different lines on the map. Although the subway is far safer than when I lived in New York in the late 80s, it is still nice to be able to privately consult your phone.  I recall ending up in Brooklyn or Queens by mistake in 1989 and did not want to do that to our party of 16. (no offense to Brooklyn or Queens!)  The Kick Map also has a night-time feature which shows you which stations and stops close after 11pm.  Not a needed feature for our particular group.

MidTown in my Pocket by AppFury, LLC: This handy map labels the stores and restaurants building-by-building and block-by-block throughout midtown Manhattan.

The Best of New York by Baffled Travel: This is a cute app - found on another blog called NYCity Mama - that sorts out top things to see and do in New York. Examples are: Top Views, Tops for Kids, Free or Nearly Free, etc. You can sort by neighborhood, price and “near me” using the location finder.

Mom Maps: I call this nationwide app a work-in-progress, at least as far as NYC is concerned. It does have great potential, though. Users input and review their favorite Kid-friendly locations: parks, playground, indoor play, restaurants, etc. As it relies on user input, your mileage may vary. Case in point was our group of twelve following Mom Maps directions to a closed and decrepit “playground” in Hell’s Kitchen. That said, it was all part of the adventure!

We also made good use of the usual dining apps: UrbanSpoon and Open Table although neither was all that useful with a group of sixteen.

So, Spring Breakers out there…..which apps make your travels easier? Please share!

They Really Have No Idea, Do They?

Kids these days. Can't you just you hear your grandfather’s voice in you now? 

Sometimes I jokingly remind my kids, “when I was your age, we had one TV with five channels and no remote. You had to actually get up and walk across the room to change the channel.” They feign surprise and a hint of indignation, but I seriously doubt they have a clue about the relative home entertainment hardship my generation endured. The fact that we could only watch the exciting hit shows of the time, “Happy Days” and “Laverne and Shirley”, on Friday nights at 8pm and 8:30pm respectively, and that if I had to go to the bathroom, I needed to hold it until a commercial. Mostly lost on them.

They try to understand and put things in perspective, as only an eight and five year old can do. Case in point. Yesterday, my son was asking how IBM could be 100 years old as a company when computers have not been around that long. Good point.

My husband and I gave him the background that International Business Machines is the original name and we started noting some, now defunct, “business machines.” They were really engaged when we got to the typewriter and reminded them of places they had seen old-fashioned typewriters before. They were nodding and getting it, and we felt so connected, until the older one said, “I get it! Before computers and iPads, people used IBM typewriters to send their emails.”  Sigh.

So, it is time to share.  What are some of today’s conveniences that replace the “relative hardships” of your youth that your kids probably cannot comprehend?

{N.B. I turned on Anonymous commenting so you don’t need a Google account to comment, but feel free to sign your name anyway.}

The Smurfs Woke Me at 5am

While the cartoon Smurfs are sorta cute, a 5am wake-up call by the virtual ones is not. 

This saga begins a few weeks ago when my husband had been traveling for almost two weeks.  I was so tired of hearing, "Can I go on the computer?" and "I never get to go on the computer," yet I wasn't sure where to draw the line for our house.  I was trying to stay flexible.  Keep my options open.  I started writing my thoughts here and researching on-line and with friends to learn more about what is appropriate for kids in general, for my kids and for our family.  The lack of rules in this area had led to a "wear Mom down" mentality and was causing more trouble than what ever point I was trying to make was worth.

Every house is different and some studies suggest far more screen time than we plan to allow in our house.  The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests "no more than one to two hours" per day for school-age kids. (AAP Website on Media Issues.)  Many of my friends don't allow any screen time during the week (they are clearly better parents ;-))  With my husband frequently away on business, I'm not brave enough to go cold turkey.  After doing some research, talking with John, and polling various friends, we settled on a rule of 30 minutes of screen time per day/per child.  The net result is really one hour per kid since they watch each other.  Sidebar: Now would be a good time to take the poll to the right of your screen (hint hint!) 

Under the new rules, screen time is only available after other chores (homework, piano, clothes in hamper, dishes cleared, etc) are complete.  Screen time can be lost for the day for several reasons and cannot be carried over.  Screen time, which currently takes place on the iPad, is timed via oven timer, and the user must get up, relinquish the iPad, and turn off the timer when finished.  The kids bought into the new plan and we were a happy family again.

Until the Smurfs. 

No one in the house knows exactly how the Smurfs landed on the iPad (the popular theory is that the five year old did it), but there they were and they were making themselves known. 

In Smurfs' Village (probably a bit like Farmville, although I've never played that), the Smurfs plant gardens of raspberries, carrots, and other crops, which grow at different rates, must be picked before they wilt, and can be traded up for more seeds and, the ever-important XP (experience points) which allow the players to gain entry to new and higher levels of the Smurfs' Village.  I can pretend the kids are gaining valuable planning and farming skills, but I have my doubts as to the true educational nature of this game.

I have, however, no doubt about the addictive nature of it.  The game pushes frequent pop-up reminders to the iPad with a loud ping and message stating, "Your raspberries are ready to harvest!"  Upon hearing the ping, the kids drop everything and run to attend to their crops before they "wilt".  Within days, my little farmers were obsessed.  I was dumbfounded.  One day, after I wearily put the iPad on Silent mode - after a ping at 5AM! - they blamed me for letting their crops wilt.

Thanks to the Smurfs, our 30-minute rule quickly devolved into 30 minutes of crop building, followed by on-going checking, harvesting and replanting at various intervals throughout the day.

There is a lot of information available on the addictive nature of on-line gaming, especially role playing and virtual reality types.  Much of the research is focused on teens and college students.  I believe the prevalence of iPhones and iPads and games like these among the younger set presents a wake-up call for parents everywhere.  I'm starting to read up on the impact of constant and addictive screen time on the developing impulse control and attention span of younger kids and will share any conclusions I find soon, but I don't think it has been long enough to know the real long-term effect of the i-devices.

In the meantime, my early-morning Smurfs wake-up call was the beginning of the end for the Smurfs in our house.  Kids, especially my kids, need to have limits set for them, and to have moderation modeled, even when it means letting the Smurfs' Village raspberries wilt.

You've Come a Long Way, Baby!

In 1998, I was a single career woman already spending more time than I care to admit at work.  When offered a company-paid cell phone, I proudly said "No thanks!  Whoever needs to reach me, can call my desk, leave a message, or send me an e-mail!"  By the standards of most Microsoft employees, I was a Luddite. One day, I was re-org'd into the mobile division and the argument was moot. And so it began.  

The transformation began slowly. I met my future husband (in that new mobile division btw), we married, traveled, and within a few years, we had two children, two tech careers, and two mortgages. We were a Seattle cliché. Having a vacation home without TV or Internet access, meant that mobile phone became a handy tool in allowing us to unplug and have more freedom and time with the kids.  We could do conference calls from the beach.  And we did! 

I left work in 2007, but retained my smart phone. I was used to having my calendar, contacts, and e-mail on the go. Plus, I now had play dates to schedule!  Since I was no longer chained to the proverbial keyboard, and could be all over town in a single day, I actually - dare I say - "needed" the smart phone in case the pre-school or another mom needed to reach me. The habit was formed.

I'm not quite sure when we truly jumped the abyss, but I do recall that the 3rd generation iPhone coincided with our move to the Silicon Valley, and my resulting new habitat - the quiet suburbs.  Without a job, a consulting gig, or even a corner coffee shop with hip art and music and interesting looking pierced and tattooed people, I was without much of the intellectual and creative stimuli I had been feeding on since leaving my suburban childhood home at age 18.  After a few trips to the playgrounds of Palo Alto, all I wanted for Mother's Day was what everyone else had: an iPhone.  Once that wish came true, the world of handheld picture taking, news, music, podcasts, and other apps was opened to us.  

What an entertaining and addictive world it has become.  For me and for the whole family. 

It seems like a slow twelve year slide from a relatively peaceful unplugged time to one where every moment of downtime could be filled by checking for new e-mails or Daily Digests from my Yahoo groups, breaking news headlines, or witty Facebook updates, anytime and anyplace. Contrasting my initial futile resistance with today's total surrender, I can't help but think it's a sad new twist on the Virginia Slims "You've come a long way, baby!" ads.  The 21st century addiction.

I quit my job for many reasons, but the biggest one was the reduce stress on our family and on me.  To rid myself of that feeling of being "Always On".  Adopting an iPhone changed that.  Rather than being reluctantly pulled back into work mode at anytime, anywhere, I started proactively seeking a connection to this alternative stimulus between kid pick-ups, at lengthy red lights, or once even while my child was showering after swimming lessons.

"You've come a long way, baby!"  But is it where I really want to go?  Our family evolution and dance with our devices are the inspiration for this blog, as are my observations of friends and other families at those sometimes tedious suburban playgrounds. Especially as I see how the habits of the parents influence the habits of kids, I've started seeking awareness and change. Of myself.  Of my husband.

In addition to writing about and trying to understand this new world, I am trying to dial back, reflect, and make a bigger attempt to unplug, while regularly finding ways to feed my brain and also my soul. <how deep, Rebecca!>

It's a challenge.  Surely any adult, particularly those who traded a stimulating work environment for the slower paced kid-friendly suburbs, is constantly tempted by that magic connection to the greater exciting world just sitting there in our pocket.  Exactly how does one balance that constant lure of the outside world via iPhone against the importance of setting a good example of resisting temptation for our children?  Time to start thinking about it, baby!

The Good Things

 

I don't want this blog to be too much of a rant against technology invading our kids' lives.  I mean, we love our devices and they are here to stay.  So it's time to create some balance.  After all, it's in the sub-head.  This post is to celebrate what Martha Stewart calls "Good Things".  Talking about positive ways all this technology enriches and improves our kids' lives and even our own. 

Unanimously, my kids would say "Angry Birds" makes their life a whole lot better.  It's their Good Thing.  And I know my husband loves it when a boring meeting is interrupted by a quick text or e-mail photo of the kids doing something cute.  Something the iphone makes incredibly easy to do.

As boring as it sounds, my first vote goes to wikipedia, or wikipanion which is one of many nifty free apps in my iphone arsenal.  I love the fact that my kids' insatiable curiosity about just about anything can be honored and indulged just about anywhere.  We can just "look it up!"  While one could say it makes us lazy or will lead to entitled people who just "have to know", I cannot help but think it further encourages their thinking and questioning and curiosity.

Those of you who know my kids (or any kids for that matter), know they can be relentlessly curious.  At age four, my older one always said, "I NEED to know, mom!," whenever I tried to put his frequent and often complex questions on hold.  Most often it was while I was driving, so at least I could say we can "look it up once we are home."  Now that he is eight, I just toss the phone to the back seat and tell him to "look it up".  Just kidding.  We're not at that stage.  Yet.

How about you (my fledgling group of readers)?  How does technology enrich your family life?   Entertainment?  Information?  Communications?  One friend, whose husband frequently travels to Japan and elsewhere, uses FaceTime so he can have video conversations with their kids.  That definitely sounds like a Good Thing.

How about you?  What are your favorites?

I May Be On To Something Here

Who am I to argue with David Pogue of the NYT?  Or his kids?

(thanks Mary for the forward!)


http://video.nytimes.com/video/2011/03/10/technology/personaltech/100000000716029/ipad-two.html

What Does the "i" Really Mean?

Does Apple attach a meaning to that little "i" so pervasive in their product branding?  Can we?

I couldn't find anything on the Apple website, but did find an employee claiming in an on-line forum that "when the very first iMac came out in 98’, the “i” stood for “Internet, Individual, Instruct, Inform, and Inspire”. 

i-products have evolved and are already much different from their predecessors.  How different will today's i-generation of children be than their predecessors (aka parents)?  Will their busy brains evolve and be re-wired solely for multi-tasking and short-term thinking?  Will they be capable of sustained conversation?  Of relationships based on the present and personal?

Observing today's children and youth, causes me to wonder whether this "i" is really a capital "I" as in a new "Me" generation.  In a twist on the Me Generation of the 60s, this new self-actualized group is entitled to having everything personally catered to their own individual tastes.

Are we raising Generation Imbecile, marked by un-resourceful people unable to function or navigate without Google on their cell phone?  A recent book called "The Dumbest Generation" portends that today's children are already incapable of performing many ordinary tasks of their parents:  Tying shoelaces and using an ice cube tray, to name just two.  Will kids soon stop learning how to read maps or use a phone book?  Will that matter?   His book doesn't give much advice. 

Maybe the "i" is for Impatient?  This one came to me the third time in five minutes that I heard my son ask "Mom, can I play on the iPad now?  Or "Insolent" which was the look he gave when I again said "no".

Now comes the time for sharing.  What does the "i" in your life stand for?

I Just Want to Know....

 

...what the next new thing will be?  Not because it would make me a rich woman, although that would be a nice side benefit.  I just wonder what new and enticing piece of technology will captivate and ensnare my kids and their generation next. And I want to know how to prepare them for it.  As if that is even possible.

Born in this new millenium.  Post 9-11.  Post dot-com.  My kids (ages 8 and 5.5) have no concept of the "hardship" of a life without Tivo, Wikipedia, and mommy's cell phone to bail us out when we are bored, late, or lost.  They want to hear a favorite song repeated on the radio, and they know we can look up the answer to just about anything on-line.  They've never questioned how it all works.  It is just there for them.

In the past year or so, my kids have really begun to embrace the fantastically personal Apple-created world of iPhones, iPads, iTunes and iPods.  Kids love them and so do their parents.  Sometimes a bit too much.  Seeing this and experiencing a new sort of obsession for "mom's iphone" or "dad's ipad", I've started thinking of my kids and their friends as "Generation-i" and wondering what instant and ubiquitous access to all this personal technology is doing to them.  How is it affecting their development?  Their attention span?  Their social skills?

A crystal ball into the future is not really what I want.  That would spoil the fun and intrigue of the parenthood journey.  That said, when I look at the changes in everyday technology that have impacted our family life in just a few short years, I shudder to imagine what twitchy, addictive, soul baring device or service will be invented next.  And we're not even old enough for Twitter and Facebook, yet.

It is out of that pondering and curiosity and a bit of anxiety that this blog is born:  To delve into and discuss that unanswerable question.  What's next for Generation-i?