In 1998, I was a single career woman already spending more time than I care to admit at work. When offered a company-paid cell phone, I proudly said "No thanks! Whoever needs to reach me, can call my desk, leave a message, or send me an e-mail!" By the standards of most Microsoft employees, I was a Luddite. One day, I was re-org'd into the mobile division and the argument was moot. And so it began. The transformation began slowly. I met my future husband (in that new mobile division btw), we married, traveled, and within a few years, we had two children, two tech careers, and two mortgages. We were a Seattle cliché. Having a vacation home without TV or Internet access, meant that mobile phone became a handy tool in allowing us to unplug and have more freedom and time with the kids. We could do conference calls from the beach. And we did!
I left work in 2007, but retained my smart phone. I was used to having my calendar, contacts, and e-mail on the go. Plus, I now had play dates to schedule! Since I was no longer chained to the proverbial keyboard, and could be all over town in a single day, I actually - dare I say - "needed" the smart phone in case the pre-school or another mom needed to reach me. The habit was formed.
I'm not quite sure when we truly jumped the abyss, but I do recall that the 3rd generation iPhone coincided with our move to the Silicon Valley, and my resulting new habitat - the quiet suburbs. Without a job, a consulting gig, or even a corner coffee shop with hip art and music and interesting looking pierced and tattooed people, I was without much of the intellectual and creative stimuli I had been feeding on since leaving my suburban childhood home at age 18. After a few trips to the playgrounds of Palo Alto, all I wanted for Mother's Day was what everyone else had: an iPhone. Once that wish came true, the world of handheld picture taking, news, music, podcasts, and other apps was opened to us.
What an entertaining and addictive world it has become. For me and for the whole family.
It seems like a slow twelve year slide from a relatively peaceful unplugged time to one where every moment of downtime could be filled by checking for new e-mails or Daily Digests from my Yahoo groups, breaking news headlines, or witty Facebook updates, anytime and anyplace. Contrasting my initial futile resistance with today's total surrender, I can't help but think it's a sad new twist on the Virginia Slims "You've come a long way, baby!" ads. The 21st century addiction.I quit my job for many reasons, but the biggest one was the reduce stress on our family and on me. To rid myself of that feeling of being "Always On". Adopting an iPhone changed that. Rather than being reluctantly pulled back into work mode at anytime, anywhere, I started proactively seeking a connection to this alternative stimulus between kid pick-ups, at lengthy red lights, or once even while my child was showering after swimming lessons.
"You've come a long way, baby!" But is it where I really want to go? Our family evolution and dance with our devices are the inspiration for this blog, as are my observations of friends and other families at those sometimes tedious suburban playgrounds. Especially as I see how the habits of the parents influence the habits of kids, I've started seeking awareness and change. Of myself. Of my husband.
In addition to writing about and trying to understand this new world, I am trying to dial back, reflect, and make a bigger attempt to unplug, while regularly finding ways to feed my brain and also my soul. <how deep, Rebecca!>
It's a challenge. Surely any adult, particularly those who traded a stimulating work environment for the slower paced kid-friendly suburbs, is constantly tempted by that magic connection to the greater exciting world just sitting there in our pocket. Exactly how does one balance that constant lure of the outside world via iPhone against the importance of setting a good example of resisting temptation for our children? Time to start thinking about it, baby!
